Widow’s Dilemma

I’m in a widows dilemma. The number one obvious truth is that I lost the love of my life. Dan was my true soul’s match. I met him in my neighbor’s back yard; just a stones throw from where I lived, and where we subsequently lived together. We habitually brought out and celebrated the best…Continue Reading

Super Hawk

I spent yesterday, Super Bowl Sunday, with the people of the Dan. Being there, amongst his closest friends, makes me happy, nostalgic, sad, and perplexed. I love each of them, but wonder if I truly have an ongoing place in their lives. Does seeing me make them think of him, and is that too sad,…Continue Reading

About a woman who let go of something

I want to let go. I do. I want to let go of not letting go. I do. I want to not be troubled, offended, reactive and bitter. I do. I want to want to toss all baggage around the sadness into the sea of old news. I want to want that. I do. What’s…Continue Reading

What is humming for you?

I’m poised inside a glorious flower. All around me are the pedals of friendship. They cushion me with, multiple colors and textures. The closest ones will close in on me when I need to feel that I won’t fall off the bloom, at night maybe, when I quiver and doubt. Every morning the petals open…Continue Reading

Joyful Mourning Part 1

Today I’m headed up to Tahoe. I guess I want to be amongst friends for Valentine’s Day. Thank you Goyl Loya and Joey Mac. This year, I still feel the same love in my heart that I have each and every day that I’ve been without my Dan. His love sits so warm and secure…Continue Reading

Self Publishing: This Sister is doing it For Herself

Some time ago I had a burst of self referential genius (meaning precisely that I thought I was pretty clever) and wrote a parody of a very, very popular series of children’s books.  I’d read these books to my kids and LOVED them.  I think I have all of them.  But between my love of…Continue Reading

Some are gonna love you, others, not so much

I got a big envelope in the mail the other day from a local real estate agent.  Usually I toss real estate stuff after I note how much houses have appreciated around here.  But this one was from someone I knew from my early Pali Elementary days, Betty Jo, and someone who has treated me…Continue Reading

Holy Crap I am Crazy Excited

Be careful what you wish for eh?  Here it is! I have had a Guardian Angel smoothing my way, stepping up and somehow helping me be in the right place at the right time, and voila.  I’d said to my Creative Ass Kicker back in October or November, “if I’m going to self-publish If You Give…Continue Reading

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. And I don’t even like turkey. What I love is the gathering. I love that we have family to celebrate. I love that every year my uncle (my father’s brother) would place the family on the living room fireplace hearth, set the camera timer and snap our portrait. There…Continue Reading

Women’s Weekend With Men

While the wind is still fresh on my face and my abdomen is still aching from laughter, I have to take a moment to recollect what was. A rock hop on the beach, with the waves lapping slow on the shore, Marta and Dan on either side of me as we shared a collective experience…Continue Reading